Got a partner to share today with? Going on a first date? Get a love letter from a secret admirer?
In the video, the 6ft 9in brick-shithouse – whose real name is Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson – reclines on a sofa and reads poems submitted by SodaStream social channel users.
It’s quite a departure really from the gruesome brutality we come to expect from him in the hugely popular HBO TV series.
Clearly, many of the prospective poets know the behemoth from his role as The Mountain, as several of his readings follow a GoT theme.
One such poem goes:
“Lannisters are red,
“White Walkers are blue.
“And on this Valentine’s Day,
“I give all of Westeros to you.
“From the wall to the north,
“And through the Iron Islands.
“On this Valentine’s Day,
“You bring me smiles.”
How incredibly romantic.
The Mountain wouldn’t read soppy poetry. Credit: HBO
The Mountain certainly seems to think it is anyway, inhaling deeply from a rose that looks absolutely tiny in his hands, before adding: “So romantic.”
The rose shouldn’t be feeling insignificant off the back of this though; it’s far from the first object to be rendered tiny looking by the beast.
Last month, a picture of the 30-year-old holding a mug went viral, purely off the back of how ludicrously tiny his fuck off fists made it look.
Considering the size of said fists, I would never in a million years tell him to his face that my favourite part of his poetry readings was the way he pronounced every ‘v’ in Valentine’s as a ‘w’.
So how did the man get so mountainous? Well, no doubt genetics played a big part, but he also takes a hell of a lot of fuel on board.
During an interview with BroBible, he was killing two birds by simultaneously ‘chowing down on a bowl that appeared to contain a week’s worth of meal prep’.
The reporter subsequently asked him to explain what he was eating.
“Rice, steak – this was rib-eye I minced down – peppers, carrots, and there are supplements in here as well,” Björnsson explained.
“The liquid is chicken stock. It is the best meal for growth and strength. I’ll eat this five times a day.”
Well it definitely seems to have worked.
The Mountain will return to our screens in the final season of Game of Thrones, which is back on 14 April… So you’ve got two months to get yourself a widescreen.
Featured Image Credit: SodaStream